Figuring out what 10 looks like

The Elder is a giganto 1-0 today...fully embracing that decade status.  You might think to yourself that three's not so much of a difference between 9 and 10 years, but there seems to be big changes on the horizon. 

Case in point: NO birthday cake today.  Apparently, we are raising a heathen.  Instead, she wanted a big bowl of homemade whipped cream, a big bowl of chocolate buttercream frosting (which has been her favorite "food" for years now...we talk about it a lot), and ice cream (sorbet and ice cream).  She conceded to throwing some strawberries in there for some sort of nominal foundation for that sugar surge. 

She is truly living her best life, it seems.

A few weeks ago, she learned how to ride her bike.  And I am furiously OK with her waiting until she cared about riding a bike to do this, even if that looks like 9-years old.  And now we're anticipating this kiddo riding herself to school and then back home again all by herself next year.  It's only through our neighborhood, about 1/2 a mile, but there are still things like intersections and teenage drivers and will-she-get-herself-out-of-the-hosue-on-time-all-by-herself that we're going to need to contend with and bump into and generally figure out is a normal transitioning process for a kid her age.  More compelling in this new next-school-year scenario is that she'll be coming home to an empty house every day after school. 

Is this what really happens when your kid suddenly comes up to your shoulders?  WHO KNEW that 21" suddenly morphs into 48" virtually overnight?  It's a mystery (beffudling many, I'm sure).

Meanwhile, I'll just leave this hear to soothe my tender heart strings.  I might revisit this page a few many, many times (just to, you know, glance at my girl).

 

Daily YES

So I started this 2 weeks ago.  I’m finishing it and posting it tonight because of all that’s coming out in the next paragraph.  That’s me life, mates.

All, listen up.  I have more book-y things that I can’t help but talk about (again).  2019 is my year of remembering what I love about reading, I think.  It just so happens that these book-y things have corresponded largely with ends of semesters and beginning of a new course, and 100 essays due.  But that’s also partly why I’m here today:

What is saving your life, today?

I halfheartedly listen to a podcast that ends every show asking the guest this Barbara Brown Taylor question: What is saving your life today?  And in my moments of mind-boggling business, I’m trying to find those chunks of time (even if it’s just 3 or 5 minutes while I’m waiting for the next thing to start) and to remember those daily rituals that truly do save my life right now. 

One of those key “things” for me right now is BOOKS.

A few years ago, I virtually s-t-o-p-p-e-d reading fiction.  I didn’t stop reading…just fiction unless I knew for 100% and certain that I was probably going to like it, which means that I pretty much quit the habit.  I dove hard into memoir and non-fiction, which I was finding to be more reliably satisfying for me.  I went through a period of time where it seemed like virtually every fiction book I picked up was gimmicky, cheesy, trite, predictable, formulaic, and gag-inducing.  Largely speaking, I loathe first person perspective.  Generally, I don’t want to see the end of the story in the first chapter.  Often, I find dialogue tired and irritating.

However, I’ve discovered book-ish podcasts, as I’ve mentioned.  Spoiler: I now listen to 3 a week. 

These really get my ink filled heart ventricles pumping, let me tell you.  Maybe it’s the soothing tones of the podcasters’ voices.  Maybe it’s their collective ability to hit on the best bits of the stories.  Maybe it’s something else…don’t know.  But it’s almost single handedly reunited me with fiction, and I’ve been hoovering up a good bit of it (at least relative to my recent couple of years).  Renewing my confidence in a good story is truly saving my life right now.

(Also, one particular kind of coconut granola.  It’s perfection.  I buy myself 1 box a week and burn through it often M-W.  There are more than 3 servings in a box.  Imagine how I feel when I read while eating a large-y bowl-ful.)

I meant to write a gabby little post over Spring Break five weeks ago about book-y things and book-ness and probably some book-itude, but it never happened because, honestly, I was reading.  So I’ll add this to my life saving moments: carving out thou-shalt-have-these-few-moments-each-day-just-for-reading time has been such a boon to my mental health of late.  I work ever so much better when I set myself up with manageable chunks of work to do each night and then STOP.  Knowing that I have a personality that enjoys a challenge, even if that challenge is DUMB, like “how much can I work tonight?” is h-u-g-e to understanding my limits.  If I don’t set them from the outset, then I just don’t stop well or enough.  That’s another one that’s really saving me right now.  And it only took me a decade and a half of adulthood to start figuring that one out.  (Maybe if I had read a book about it earlier…)

And so, like the particular coconut granola and my book time, I have a few more things that individually are a blip on the day’s radar but collectively are evidence of me supporting ME.

·      Taking a deep breath

·      Not caring if I’m wearing my same, favorite clothes a lot

·      Ice cream – just a few bites

·      Ginger beer – so delicious

·      Food in the freezer – not just the ice cream, but packing lunches is ever so much easier when you can pull a muffin or some flatbread out of the freezer to get things started

·      Project VII front porch lemonade gum

·      Waiting an extra 5 minutes to wake up the girls in the morning – a few more pages of reading & we still get out of the house at the same, general time

Two weeks ago, I had included “Funny, funny teenagers – they’re really something” on my list.  I’ve since removed that.  They’re no longer saving my life (shortening it, more likely); they’re all the feels, though.

It’s been grey and dreary all day, but right now as I am thinking about how to wrap this rambling bit of thoughts up, I glanced out the window and see perfect pre-summer sunset colors.  Less rain lately & more sun…saving my life.  Bless.