As the clock ticked down on another Colt's pre-season demise-ical debacle, I realized that I had the next blog formulating in my mind. This is my very own TOP 5 LIST OF JOBS IN THE COLTS' ORGANIZATION THAT I WISH THAT I HAVE. This does, of course, develop out of our trip last night to Lucas Oil Stadium (crazy fantastically cool to the most fabulous degree) to watch the back up to the back up string players lose to the third string Bengals. Likewise, this idea is an homage, of sorts, to my Braves announcers boys, Joe and Boog, who have been creating some rather entertaining (absolutely necessary since this same adjective does not so much apply to the Braves lately) Top 5 lists pertaining to baseball, past and present. One final thought before the list begins (which can't possibly be as exciting as I am building it up to be): I often (disturbingly?) find myself constantly saying either to myself or the Ben, "Oh! That is another one of my dream jobs!" Funnily enough, these often resolve around sports.
5. A Colts' Cheerleader. Seriously! I always find myself watching the cheerleaders when I go to football games, sometimes more than the game itself. Seriously, they're gorgeous; they dance. Perhaps I look at them trying to figure out if I can be that seductive and alluring. Perhaps I am working of figuring out how they always have perfect hair. Perhaps I have a thing for white leather, sparkles and knee high boots (which really isn't too far off the mark here; I do have 2 pairs). To my credit, it's not like the game itself was all that riveting last night. I spent lots of time just watching Peyton on the sideline in uniform, at the coin toss, on the sideline in jeans...
***Editor's note: Ben thinks that my next dream job should be the person who runs with the flag through the end zone as the team comes sprinting out. How long has this person known me? Seriously!! He knows that I don't run; why would my dream job involve running...?
4. The lifter of the end zone net. You get to sit down on the field and you get to raise and lower the net. How cool!
3. The Air Fan. This is the guy who is not in the true mascot outfit but the INFLATABLE mascot outfit. Not only does this guy get to just bop around, but he can literally eat "his" own head and then pop it back out!!
2. The driver of the mini garbage truck. It was so cute and fun looking...a clown sized garbage truck. Envision it. Embrace it. And then throw a football through the back of it for a chance to win cash. I wondered aloud what it takes to be chosen for these fun-looking, commercial filling, endzone games. Ben's response, "You have to look like you can't do it." I looked at the soccer mom trying to throw a football and realized...you know what? He's probably right.
1. The driver of the camera cart. So they have this moving platform which has a lifted platform on it where a camera man films the game from the sideline. How cool would it be to be the person who gets to drive the platform back and forth, mere inches away from the wafting sweat of the boys? Namely Peyton, Marvin, Bob, and Tony. Not that Tony would sweat all that much. Plus, it was just so much fun looking. Zipping slowly back and forth, back and forth. Watching the game, down on the field, back and forth. Who wouldn't want to put the job title "platform driver for a cameraman for the Colts" on their resume...oh I would!
"It's not so important who starts the game but who finishes it." John Wooden
(Does this apply to pre-season games as well? Ouch)