Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Vanya...don't worry 'bout it

This is a post full of both the remarkable and the absurd.  Let's begin, though I'm very, very sure that my menial wording won't give the absurd part justice.

1.  I just got back from running (nearly all) the loop around my neighborhood.  I do believe that I could have even run more of it, but I wasn't wanting to push the possibility of my retching.  I'm sure this feat of nature was possible because I'm wearing a newish pair of bright blue yoga/running/exercise-ish pants.  And the weather is pretty perfect for just a few minutes here.  You know what they say when it's 90 and humid all day - let's wait until 9 p.m., and then we'll consider running for the first time in a couple of years.  Plus maybe people won't be watching by that point.

2.  I bought 5 dozen eggs two days ago because when they're marked down to $1 and have a week of life yet in 'em, I've learned to snatch and run.  I did remind the boy that the last time I bought such an obscene amount of eggs, our oven went kaput within days.

3.  Remember way back when I brought home 20 bags of chocolate chips because they were dirt cheap?  We have 2 1/2 bags of them left.  It's been about 5 months. 

4.  We camped all of the past weekend in what was just a tick under 100 degrees from start to finish.  I volunteered to take our newly minted 4-year old back to the tent for a nap (yep, she still naps fairly often, and this was one of those days), intending to use the box fan and relax with a book while she snoozed beside me.  First, we nearly got into a shouting match because my child kept insisting on being covered with a blanket in what was nothing short of a sweat house.  The child slept, and I grabbed a grubby t-shirt to wipe the sweat off of my entire head region every 2 minutes while I tried to read.  Thanks be, the joint cooled off significantly by nighttime, and all was well.  The box fan was a pointless waste of space; if it weren't so noisy, I wouldn't even have believed it was on.

5.  The second night of our camping adventure, I was dwelling and anxious while the group of 8 or so teenager-y/college-age-y young people beside us were happy and laughy until about 1 AM.  They weren't obnoxious, mind you, but they were obviously awake.  And all of that means I was pretty obviously awake, too.  But the boy was less obviously awake.  In fact, not too long after we turned our flashlights off, he raised his left arm in the air and said .

the boy:  Vanya! (then slowly lowered his arm)
me: What?
the boy:  mutter mutter mutter
[crickets]
me:  Are you awake?
the boy:  ------ [rolls over]
me:  What did you say?
the boy:  ...don't worry 'bout it.

He has no recollection of this.  There was that one time when he dreamed he was kicking a soccer ball and was instead kicking me, but he's never muttered at me in some Russian-y sounding way and then told me to get over myself all while asleep

The next morning, when I relayed to him that weird exchange, he very forthrightly said something to the effect of "Yeah, Vanya is a form of Ivan.  I read a lot of books with Russian characters." 

Obviously.

But I'll accept his explanation, which is better than my first thought, which was (I kid you not) who is this girl "Vanya" that you're dreaming about?  Because seriously, dream about her all you want, but let's not tell me to not worry about it.  That's just unnecessary.