that tricky turn signal & the cardboard box debacle

Ben and I own three cars, superfluous and luxurious we know. Yet for all the excessiveness of this, we have truly used each of them extensively since we procured the third one in April. And before you scoff at our waste, they are all between 9 & 12 years old and they are all paid for and we haven't had a car loan payment for a year and a half now. We have waffled for several months on whether or not to sell Ben's truck, which is oh so wonderful and would be undoubtedly missed. But then months like this month happen and I'm quite thankful that we have three cars. It all began 3 weeks ago...

Ben's truck (let's call it Bernard) doesn't so much like the cold and protests by making its turn signals not work. We have a two car garage, but Bernie has basically been relegated to the driveway because he's the first one to leave in the morning, and that way, I can drive whichever of the two cars I need as each has a different function for us. So as the weather has been getting colder, Bernard has been getting touchier. Bernie is so spiteful in fact that he tricks us into taking him to his friends at the auto spa shop (otherwise known as the mechanic) where they sit around and sip cocktails and then decide that nothing is really wrong with him, whereupon he comes back to us and continues his wily ways.

Bernard happened to be moved to the street to allow our Abby car, an (old) SUV that we shall call Ruthie, to go do something. I forget what we needed Ruthie for, but we did have to move Bernard to use her. Ben didn't get around to moving Bernie back into his normal spot, which he was apparently peeved about because he just belligerently decided not to start AT ALL for two weeks. Really what happened is Ben couldn't start Bernard in the wee small hours of the school morning, so he grabbed the keys to our long distance runner Honda (who I think of as a Molly) and took off, grumbling about Bernard under his breath.

Life was busy. The end of the semester was busy. Bernard wasn't hurting anyone where he was parked. Ruthie and Molly were working for us. Bernard sat. For two weeks. By this point, he was soooo peeved that he refused to start again when Ben went out and sweet talked him a week ago. Ben got mad & Bernard's feelings remained hurt. A tow truck was called to mediate their conflict. Bernard got his wish for a trip to his little spa retreat, whereupon he and his mechanical buddies laughed some more and decided that really, nothing is wrong with him. The joke is on us. Ben's super ticked about how things have been going with Bernard and having to call a tow truck. And then Ruthie gets a bruise.

We were coming back from my parents' house on the way to Ben's parents' house the day after Christmas. Ben was driving. Ben decided to drive over a cardboard box that is in the road rather than drive around it. He claims there was no space. Well, he was wrong. And, in driving over the box, it got stuck on Ruthie's undercarriage. More grumbling ensued. Abby was grumbling at this point to, so it was a jolly little family.

Ben pulled over, we turned on Ruthie's hazard lights, Ben fishes the box out, we take off... Lo and behold, NO turn signal. Nothing will make the turn signal work. Nothing. So we take Ruthie through town to his parents' house and home again. I take her to Target that night and back. We take her to Winchester today, all with no turn signals. Ruthie was just at the auto spa getting fine tuned, but it looks like we'll have to take her back. Maybe Bernard whispered something about tire rotations that sounded appealing and she thought that she'd join in on the fun.

I was driving Ruthie today to Winchester, which is (in good weather) 1 1/2 hours from our house. All of a sudden (dramatic music...kablam!), Ruthie's left turn signal pops on and will NOT turn off, no matter what I do. I must have looked like an idiot driving down the road in the snow turning lights on and off and whatever other gesticulations I was making. For the record, a turn signal that won't turn off is super annoying. Really super annoying.

And then I notice--the hazard lights button is still on. I turn them off and what do you know? The turn signal went off. They have not been flashing this whole time unless they're turning on and off with Ruthie, which means that I've been looking like an idiot driving with my hazards on for longer than just a few moments. But, crisis averted. If Molly pulls anything funny this week then I'll know that there's some sort of conspiracy.