Sunday, August 30, 2015

An adult sized ear infection

I have an ear infection.

I'm well into my 30s, and this is the second ear infection of my adult life.

This is the antithesis of good luck.  This bites BIG TIME.

So I used to have this misconception that ear infections were a childhood malady.  Now, I'm all grown up and I know better.  And here's where I add my public service announcement: Ear infections HURT and it's no wonder that children are grumpy.  Bless their little hearts, all of them.  Those kids can still play.  My kids often don't even tell me that anything is amiss, and then you feel like the ever living parent of the year when you take them in cause their sniffles or cough just won't go away and the doctor looks at you sideways and says "Well, both ears are bright red."  I don't know how they do it.

I'm not kidding here, but I was fighting big fat tears in the pharmacy parking lot yesterday and have been on the verge of calling my mother multiple times if for no other reason than it huuurrrrttttsss

I'm wandering into whiney-ville, so I'm going to reign that in a little and talk about "the trip to the walk-in clinic" that happened. 

After waiting an interminable amount of time, somewhere around the time it takes me to read a thick magazine (long enough for the Ibuprofen to wear off...color me a grumpy bear), I finally got my 3 minute check-in so I could get me some MEDS PLEASE!

Me:  I have an ear infection in my left ear.  I've had one before.  I know what it is.
Dr:  Have you been swimming?
Me:  No.  I don't like swimming.
Dr:  Do you have a sore throat?
Me:  No.  I don't have a cold.  I have an ear infection.
Dr:  Do you have a cough?
Me:  No...
Dr:  Have you been swimming?
Dr:  Does your chest hurt?
Me:  !!!  n-o...
Dr:  Which ear?
Me:  left
Dr:  Have you been swimming?
 Me:  Are you sure that you're not taking some meds?
Dr:  Oh!  Your ear is swollen!  [pulling on my left ear]  Oh, did that hurt?
Me:  Hand over the meds, lady!!!

That's about how the conversation went. 

But I'm not joking about getting asked if I've been swimming three times. 

And here are a few things I've discovered can actually be quite excruciating:
*saying "ahhhhhh"
*basically just opening your mouth at all
*turning your head
*holding your child, who inevitably bumps you in some terrible way
*washing your hair
*waiting another hour until you can take more Tylanol
*head banging (I jest)

I'm home alone today cause the family decided to ditch me/leave me to whiny misery and go visit with family members who are infinitely more amusing and amiable than I am.  Last night I told the boy that ear infections are hands-down worse than any labor I have ever experienced (of which neither were more than moderately painful), to which he responded "I understand."  Oh really, boy.  I appreciate the sentiment coming from the person who's not experienced either.  That was an admirable effort to say something where there was nothing really to say. 

I caught up on some work, and now I've got my non-chewable pudding and a crossword puzzle.  All things considered, that's a pretty good way to fight off an ear infection.     

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