unrelenting grossness

Folks, this winter is the worst.  I’m sure I think that and feel that every winter.  But I’m serious this time.  (Until next winter.)  As a point of comparison, the boy hasn’t had a full 5 days of school any week yet this semester, and they returned from school on January 3.  This winter has all of the bad weather possibilities.  Literally, all of them.  On consecutive days.  Snow, fog, and thunder storms within 24 hours…mind boggling.

Because I live here and that means I actually live in the upstairs of our house for the 6-months of the year when the furnace is in use and hot air rises, I haven’t seen the boy much lately.  He is of the (s-t-r-a-n-g-e) notion that if one wears enough socks and t-shirt/long-sleeved t-shirt/sweater/sweatshirts all at once, then the downstairs is bearable.  I disagree.  I do, however, require slippers/2 blankets/a sweatshirt/a heater of a cat/all of the upstairs heat in order to maintain my winter comfort.  But that also brings about more possibility of STATIC ELECTRICITY. 

Again, I insist that we all consider this to winter to be the absolute worst. 

Case in point: The boy washed a load of blankets because a mercifully short but still germy round of sickness & contagion hit the house.  Some of us like to wrap up in blankets when we are not feeling in tip-top shape.  Some of us like even more to wrap up in MOMMY’S blankets when we’re not feeling at our very best.  So into the wash went Mommy’s blankets.  I retrieved them tonight from the dryer deliciously warm and toasty, ready to wrap up in that luxury only to be (figuratively but also literally) DEMOLISHED by static electricity in separating the blankets to reposition into perfect tuckage-innage-nestage. 

Serious face: During this process, I did entertain the thought that “This hurts now, but it will all be worth it.”  In other words, no pain – no gain. 

One shouldn’t have to contend with considering her personal pain threshold when trying to tuck into blankets.  THIS WINTER IS THE WORST.

As a last point of contention, exhibit Q: I have to dope myself up with 2000 units of vitamin D because my levels are PERILOUSLY LOW (emphasis & embellishment mine).  In other words, THIS WINTER IS THE WORST BECAUSE THERE HAS BEEN NO SUN IN WHICH I WISH TO PARTAKE. 

(Conversation with P.A. who ultimately sent me over to “the labs” for an $800 blood draw that I DID NOT know was $800)

“Are you tired a lot?”

“I teach 9 classes.”

“So…are you tired a lot?”

“See previous answer.”

“Take vitamin D.  Women in the Midwest often have really low levels which leads to feelings of tiredness.”

)

But no matter what the cesspool that is WINTER throws at me, I can still eat ice cream. 

(Yes, it probably is because of the layers upon layers of clothing and languishing in all of the warm air in this house.)

Also, snow banks are fun to drive through and I hope that I don’t accidentally hit someone’s mailbox in so doing because sometimes, I think I get really close.  That would be embarrassing.