Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Thinking surrogacy

We're done producing our own biological children.  I've been forthright about it whenever asked, so it's not a secret that I'm throwing out here.  But here it is in writing: DONE.  We feel that our family dynamics are just right and complete.  That's not to say that I don't feel little twinges every once so often, even while still having my own baby bopping around the house.  Any time I put away a piece of clothing that was especially tiny or especially adorable, sometimes when I see a cute preggo shirt, and often when I see a tiny little bundle stretching and mewing, I catch myself sighing a little bit with the I'm-never-going-to-experience-that-again kind of sigh.  I was blessed with two "easy" pregnancies, ones that were even (dare I say?) enjoyable more of time than not.  Take out my proclivity to nausea for a couple of months at the beginning, and the rest was cake.  The deliveries and recoveries were even easy peasy, especially the second time around, which was almost embarrassingly so.  So, you know...why not do it again?  I'm thinking surrogacy, and I'm thinking pretty hard about it.

My family may be set, but there are many many couples who have a void that they physically cannot fill.  I think that the idea of surrogacy most appeals to me because I see it as a service that I can potentially provide for someone else who needs help.  It's something of an essential need to be able to reproduce, and for those who are unable, I can't imagine the gamut of self-doubt and self-destruction that they must endure.  Those who can afford surrogacy have most likely also undergone extensive testing and/or other invasive procedures, all of which adds up to many, many dollars devoted to producing a healthy child, to completing a family picture.  These are the people who have likely never been dependent on others for help before, and I imagine that couples who pursue surrogacy are likely to be especially vulnerable and learning new variations of qualities such as humbleness and thankfulness. 

Funny pregnancy aside: a year ago while pregnant, I was sleeping every night with just a sheet, I was that hot (even in the winter with our thermostat set at 68 at night); now, I sleep in a sweatshirt under a down comforter (even with the thermostat set at 70 at night). 

I think I could do it, but I haven't delved into it enough, yet, to fully understand the hows of being a surrogate.  Admittedly, I am a little leery of it simply because I don't believe that it is regulated in this state, and I'm a little uncomfortable with for-profits running the show.  But that could totally be wrong...I need to do lots more digging and talking.  I just keep thinking why not


1 comment:

Crystal said...

wow and wow. I admire you.