Monday, February 17, 2014

Today's the day

Ignoring those niggling thoughts of everything I should be doing now instead, I will blog today, dang it. 

I will blog...
because I've gotten stuck in the snow twice in the past month.  And both times on my street, which is really a court and about as long as Peyton Manning can throw...and I live at the front of it. 

because I get too wrapped up in myself and the minutia of washing diapers and unloading the dishwasher.

because I read The Saint of Lost Things by Christopher Castellani as I told you I would, and it rocked.  Now, I'm listening to The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh as I drive to class at night, and it is beautiful.  I wish that I was reading it rather than listening to it so that I might savor the words a little longer and re-trace passages as I go rather than fumble with the seek button in the car. 

because I spent my scant free time on Friday, the day when everyone either didn't sleep at all or woke up early, wading my way through technology issues for a class that I teach that has an online component for which I am not prepared to answer questions regarding.  That's frustrating. 

because I randomly think of things that are humorous when I am getting out of the shower in the morning, with no way to write anything down.  And then I forget them.  Such is my memory of late.  It used to be that I could give detailed explanations of individual needs and abilities for 100+ students at any given time before coming home and leading the frantic dinner/bath/bedtime dance.  But in this gray area time when I'm weirdly both working from home and not, I feel as if I'm apologizing for my forgetfulness and inability to answer seemingly basic questions more often than I am answering anything confidently, as if I know what I'm doing.  I'm starting to come to terms with this, that I'm not the same anymore, and I need to figure out where I'm at mentally at some point.  It's been a long haul to get to this point.

because my youngest is a cuddler, and knowing that she's the last fuzzy head that's going to burrow into my neck, it makes me happy that she is this way.  She's also building quite the repertoire of songs that she will gladly sing upon request (she appreciates applause at the end) or for no reason in the middle of the Nicene Creed come Sunday morning ("Baa baa baa baa baa baa, SHEEP.  Yes, sir, yes, sir, baa, baa, SHEEP.")  Ya gotta see it sometime.

because...why not?  Today seems like a day that needs some new words in it.

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