You know, sometimes you're feeling like you're teetering closer to the edge again where you get stuck in this circle of "Life is a bum deal" and "Woe is me" and "Aw nuts, I'm never going to be able to do what I want to do with sacrificing absolutely everything for it...and I just can't do that." So you impulse buy a jazzy little coffee mug with a reminder that life is good each and every day cause you feel like you could really benefit from that reminder (each and every day, in fact). You make time for yourself to just write because there's not much else showing positive fruits, and at some point you just need something more physical to hold onto. And then you find out you won a sizable gift card to the nicest joint in town that just so happens to make a phenom bread pudding dessert, and you're reminded that "This is enough for one day. This is enough." And you carry on.
Feel free to think of today as that day.
Here's what I do know today.
1. I can think better when I'm not at home with three other warm bodies sharing my immediate space. I can close the door, sure, but that doesn't keep little hands or little paws from sliiiiiddddiiiiinnnngggg down it in an exaggerated way. And it also doesn't keep the boy from hollering in my general direction any handful of times with questions that sure, I have the answer to but really, aren't of the utmost importance. I have quite the difficult time disconnecting from the lives of those other people that I live with. It's exactly as they say: "I love you, but I don't want to have anything to do with you or even be in the same city block as you right now."
2. Sometimes you need a comfortable chair planted squarely in front of a big picture window to get anything accomplished. That's because big picture windows don't talk to you, and there's enough movement to keep it interesting.
3. When the weather forecast has days upon days (upon days) of rain and thunderstorms projected, it starts to become disheartening. You feel like it's a joyous day when it's dry enough to mow the lawn. It becomes something of a military attack, sneaking up on the enemy when it finally lets its guard down.
4. When the boy wants ice cream badly enough to sneak it in the house after the girls are put away in their beds, you get some too.
5. Three-year olds like to push your buttons, every single one of them, at bedtime. At least 50% of the (current or former) three-year olds in my household do (did).
6. Dropping $50 on a camp stove is surely a solid investment.
7. The boy overthinks purchasing a camp stove.
8. Stores in this (forsaken?) town don't restock sandals once it hits June. My favorite (and only) pair of sandals bit the dust a few days ago, and now I'm annoyed with my very limited options.
9. This feels like a breakfast-for-dinner kind of night. We need those once in a while.
And now, on to more writing elsewhere. Excellent idea.