Guys. It's been a month.

News: Guys.  It's been a month.

Better news:  Guys.  It's OK.

Yesterday, we enjoyed breakfast church with our burgeoning ELCA congregation.  It basically includes ALL SORTS of breakfasty goodies (i.e. loads of delish carbs) and conversation in small communities sprinkled about the space.  There's a Gospel reading for us to share in community, the wine & bread to pass in community, and time to share highs & lows with people who are fundamental in grounding us for another week. 

Lemme say again: Guys.  It's been a month.  A challenging one at times -- nothing extraordinary or shocking.  Just plenty of opportunity for wallowing and time in the pit. 

In short(ish), my last living grandparent died, though not unexpectedly, at the beginning of the month and there has been some ensuing hurt and such.  On the same day that The Boy's cousin (of whom he was not particularly close) also chose to end his life.  This cousin's brother did the same in early December.  That family unit is hurting right now.  Each of my brothers have had a child suffering from a bout with pneumonia in the past week on top of the general pink eye/colds/sinus infection germs that are plaguing their houses.  My brother's beloved 3-year dog is struggling against a disease that is life threatening, and while it's a pet, there's still a hurt there.  The Boy is slowly crawling out from his own week of persistent hacking and discomfort.  The days have been incredibly February-ish: dark, dull, and dreary.

Yet as the highs and lows were being shared around the community table at church and before my turn came, I mentally prepared my own subsequent answers and realized I had several highs to choose from.  An abundance.  Unfairly. 

1.  We had a short week of school, and at this time of year, that's a blessing.
2.  I had finished a couple of books lately, and since they were decent / good ones, that feels like a smushy richness of time.
3.  I snagged one of the foster babies in our community congregation.  She's 4-months but shaped like a 2-month old.  She has the best eye lashes, and she was deliciously squishy and snuggly.  I got to give her a bottle and gently noodge her back to sleep.  That is pretty bliss-y.
4.  There was sun, and loads of it.  That is enough on many a day.  This is the week's high that I choose to share (which was summarily met with hearty head nods and "Ooooh, yes!" by other members of my community table).

Just the day before, I needed to make a trip that was a bit of a drive and took me through a 90-mile chunk of rural Indiana.  While I don't mind driving with a purpose, I'm not much for enjoying a drive through barren fields without a purpose, but hand me some good podcasts or an audio book, a plan, and a quiet, sunny morning, and I'm all in.  Along the way, I found a field of windmills (expected -- I've driven by this often), a 1.3 mile stretch of state highway with bumper to bumper pick-up trucks on both sides of the road for a Saturday morning auction (unexpected -- this isn't usually my jam and I can't say that I've ever been to one of these or have ever driven by one), and a boy in the yard beside a farmhouse systematically whacking a tree with a long stick (quasi-expected -- what else might one do with one's time on a sunny, warm enough February morning in rural-ville?). 

So for a month which had plenty of moments where I too could happily whack a tree with a long stick, I'm still going to choose the sunshine.  My word but that sunshine felt great.