For any and all of the times when Ben and I get frustrated with each other, or we're not on the same page, Ben really rocked yesterday. Here's how it went down...
Ben coaches middle school boys & girls cross country, and this is getting on toward the end of that season. This keeps him away a lot of nights and Saturdays, like yesterday. I rely on Ben to help with the Abby-girl on those times though too so that I can get homework for my grad class done. Never once has he complained about taking care of Abby after coming home from school/cross country when I know that he's tired and just wants to sit down. I know how draining teaching all day is, and then to come home to a fussy infant...not easy! But that's not why I'm putting the FAN in Ben's fantast-cism.
Abby came down with a cold on Friday that turned into a full blown snot dripping, don't-lay-me-down-just-hold-me, sad little Saturday. We were supposed to go to a wedding in Indy Saturday afternoon/evening, which was going to be a long and probably grumpy trip for Abby anyway since we wouldn't be getting home until at least an hour after her bedtime. But we've also been putting her to bed a bit earlier than her bedtime, so even her bedtime is kinda past her bedtime. But anyway...neither here nor there.
This was a Manchester wedding, which means that anyone (you know, so to speak) who wasn't at Homecoming yesterday was going to be at this wedding...lots of friends from college. And these are all wonderful, funny, smiley people who we never see and Ben especially loves to talk to old friends. I am the very epitome of awkwardness, so I enjoy it less, but I still reallllly wanted to go, too. I also just love weddings; they're so optimistic!!
Sidenote...I was so looking forward to going that I even scheduled my haircut for Saturday morning and arranged for Ben's mom to come over to watch Abby (Ben had a cross country meet) so that I could at least have decently styled hair. For me, a haircut is really a 4-times-a-year luxury.
So Abby has a cold and it became very obvious yesterday morning that we wouldn't both be able to go to the wedding because that would have been nothing short of child abuse to take her with us and make her sit through all of that and be accosted by bright noises and lots of people and have all of her routine thrown off. She's been to 2 weddings so far and hasn't been a huge fan of either of them. Throw her beleaguered immune system on top of it and it wasn't going to be a fun times for all event. Like the adults that we are, we had a parental discussion about what to do.
Amy: We're not both going to be able to go to the wedding, and I'm going to be selfish and suggest that you stay home with Abby since it would give me the chance to get out of the house. (totally childish)
Ben: I agree. (no hesitation...totally selfless)
Not only was Ben giving up the chance to see good college friends again (and seriously, we've never felt more a part of a community than we did at Manchester) and take care of a cranky 4-month old by doing so. Um...wow. That's testing your parental chops and totally being the wonderful wonderful FANtastic person that I love and married. He did it for me. He wanted me to have the chance to be able to see other people and have a mental break. He knows that I love staying home with my little one, but he also knows that I needed this and that he alone could give it to me. I think that he loves me. I think that I definitely don't deserve it but glory in it anyway. I think that I picked a good one. I'm his FAN, and I hope that I can remember this the next time a grumpy moment pops up.
"Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he [or she!!] should be." Anton Chekov